i shouldn't have put this in the cover letter

looking for secondary markets, i wrote this in one of my cover letters about a horror story that could use some re-printing.

"
I hand-re-copied the story in blood (with a pen clutched in a severed hand that I held by the wrist to scribe upon old medical bandages stolen from dead people). Then, I scanned the story into an evil text editor (powered by the heart of an orphan). Then, I used the eyeballs of slaughtered angels to check for errors. Then, I forced my slave monkeys to re-type the words into this e-mail. Afterwards, I killed the monkeys and fed their corpses to the evil tech support company in my closet. The evil telephone tech support staff chewed while teasing their hapless customers.

It was horrible, really."

That was very unprofessional of me. I am ashamed of me.

I did it, anyway. I'm glad I did it. It made me happy.