things heard on planes

my connecting flight to charlotte was held back a few hours, and i spent most of it chatting with a charming woman from a small southern town who had been visiting her grandchildren.

amazing things she said that i had never heard before:

"you live in a small town, you can't change the toilet paper people don't hear about it."

"my granddaughter came up to me and told me i couldn't leave because it was her birthday. she said, 'gramma, why you leavin'? didn't you hear it was my birthday. i'm six. yesterday i was five. today, i'm six. where you going on my birthday?' and i told her that i had to go back home and get her a present. she said, 'oh, okay. i guess that's okay.'"

i won't go into detail about her stories about how her husband really, really likes to watch golf games on television. apparently, at least one person genuinely enjoys watching the sport, and i'm willing to stop complaining about it if it keeps his wife happy. she was very charming.