my apologies, dearest Emily

i heard a fly buzz when i killed
the realness in the boom
was like the realness in my cares
between these ears of storms
my breath - gathering squirms
in the last onset when the kings -
force witness - in the boom
i held my keepsakes -
pined away - what ocean of me was tangible

then it was there i supposed a fly -
between the light and me -
with truth - a certain stumbling buzz -
with force my shadow sailed - because
i could not bear to see