So, you wanna buy an eBook, eh?

Well, there's lots of eBooks to choose from. That there is. Hard to tell *what* eBook to buy. There's only so much battery life to be squeezed out of that cadmium, and you're pretty sure everything you rent on your Kindle can be taken away from you if somebody, somewhere, sneezes funny in the vicinity of Seattle.

Anyhow, with such limitations into your purchase-like decisions, I want you to know that I am here to help you.

I have, for your viewing pleasure, a free sample chapter of the eBook edition of LAST DRAGON by J M McDermott.

You know, this book was shortlisted for a Crawford Prize. This book was on Locus Magazine's Recommended Reading List. This book was recipient of all sorts of critical acclaim.

This book is available from Apex Book Publishing, and available in just about format I can think of, except tattoos. And, you have my permission to tattoo any part or all of the book upon your body that you like.

This is something I do for you, at no cost to you, to help you make your e-reading decisions.

Now, on to the next bit of awesome.

I have half the book. I know it's not quite as good as the full book. But, it is half the book. If you don't know whether you want to make your purchase decision with just one chapter, I've got half the book right here, ready for you.

For this week I will be happy to give out PDFs of half the book to all who ask for it, for the express purpose of spreading it. Drop me an e-mail at sankgreall (a) gmail (O) com

And, one person - chosen completely at random per rules that I have written down, but will not share with you - will recieve - this one lucky, lucky person - the full PDF of the novel, for their eReading pleasure, under the understanding that they really ought not to share it beyond their friends and family with whom one would normally be found sharing books, and probably ought not to be pirating it.

But, wait! I've got a few physical hard copies floating around here... I think it's high time I gave one of them away.

There is a number between one and one-hundred that totally exists and is written down on my notepad right next to his computer. The number that I have chosen is the number of the person who e-mails me looking for half the book who will recieve the full book, signed and personalized, gratis.

So... Who wants half an eBook? Who wants to win the full eBook? Who wants to win the real deal?

All you do, friends, is drop me a line at sankgreall gmail com, and ask for a freebie. It will be up to the mysterious numbers on my notepad to decide if you are the winner!

Random Photos on my iPhone

One thing about cheap, easy photography is that you'll get plenty of photos that you'll only remotely recognize.

The bowling alley photo I recognize. I don't know what the rest are, I'm afraid.

Any ideas?

In Hyperion

Okay, have you read Hyperion by Dan Simmons?

Can you explain something to me?

You know when Rachel enters the Sphinx by herself, and encounters the Shrike?

How does the narrator, her father, know what happens inside the Sphinx?

Bruce Lee Could Have Destroyed Japan

So, I've been thinking about this a while, and I think I've figured out how to geometrically prove that Bruce Lee could destroy the entire nation of Japan in single combat.

I will be using extensive film clips to prove this, courtesy of YouTube.

First, let me say, that three of the great warriors are dead, and it is arguable that the survivor is clearly the one who is the greatest. I suspect the forces of PCNB* are at work, and will explain in a footnote. Though it is true that the transitive property does indicate that this living legend could, in fact, conquer Japan, it must be remembered that the Imperial Throne would crumble as soon as Bruce Lee decided to conquer Japan.

First, let's begin with how Bruce Lee easily defeated the seemingly unstoppable force that is Chuck Norris.



Now, Chuck Norris is no slouch. He handily defeats David Carradine in this evidence also found on YouTube.



(Is it just me, or does it look like David and Chuck are about to make sweet love to each other when Chuck drops his gunbelt? Nevermind...)

Now, David Carradine - though he would be out of his league against Bruce Lee - does manage to use "Shaolin Tricks" to conquer the son of Bruce Lee, Brandon.



(The "Shaolin Tricks" I see? All of them camera tricks. Oh, and sound effects. *WOOSH!*)

(At this point, you are probably thinking to yourself that fight scenes have really diminished in quality over the years. And, you'd be right. What the hell? What happened to our fight scenes since the 1970s!?)

Anyway, we're not quite at Japan, yet. Here's an important moment, where Brandon Lee is destroying the evil gangster, T-Bird.



You may not be aware of this, but the person getting cooked was actually President of the United States of America, as witnessed in the documentary "Flags of Our Fathers" by Clint Eastwood. This president - Truman - has apparently become a devil-worshipping, drug addict, anarchist in retirement. (Ah, so like Detroit and our American steel dream, from the glory of war to the decline of our great industrial cities...) During World War II, T-Bird fucking conquered Japan!

Ergo, by the transitive property of action movies, Bruce Lee could conquer Japan.



*(It must be said that the Bruce Lee battle occurred PCNB, or "Pre-Chuck Norris Beard". Like Samson, Chuck seemed to grow exponentially when he acquired a beard, as evidenced by this video of combat with the living essence of Beard itself, a frikkin' bear:



Further study will be necessary to deduce whether Chuck Norris' beard provides enough power and oomph to conquer our victor of all Japan: BRUCE LEE!)

Chimps on Ice

Summer is hot. THe Blog-O-Sphere is full of stupid people.

So, let's watch chimpanzees ice skate.

Edit to add: The video was apparently auto-playing. I don't like that. Videos on blogs should only play when clicked upon. Video deleted. Here's the link to the http:

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x5t3os_monkey-on-ice-gonna-fly-now-jonny-s_sport

World Fantasy Convention

I just bought a membership to World Fantasy Con. I'm 80% percent sure I'm going. I'm 100% sure I won't be there Thursday.

If I can get a day off work, I'll fly out Friday morning. If not, I'll fly out late Friday night.

Hope to see all of you there.

Courtesy of BoingBoing... Ultra Deep Space!

More Homophobic Authors, apparently...

Ah, the blog-o-sphere has brought to light another well-respected author's raging, puzzling homophobia.

I have this problem. I have a hard time reading books by authors that seem to believe that homosexuality is some kind of satanic joyride into bestiality, incest, and forced child-orgy labor camps.

The problem isn't the religious opinion that is different from mine. One can say "Hey, I think homosexuality is against my god, so... It's wrong. Gay sex is the work of the devil." And, to me, that works, as an argument. It's a crappy argument, but I'm not one to argue against your God. I also don't think you can take that and extend it out onto society, even though you really want to.

Here's the way I think about that. I am a vegetarian. I think bacon is evil. Many religions agree with me on the "eating bacon"="evil and wrong" equation.

Bacon is not the slippery slope to cannibalism. Making that logical leap makes me an idiot, (even though part of me actually does believe that eating our close genetic cousins, like monkeys, pigs, cows, and other land-dwellers and whales walks the line of cannibalism to close to permit to continue). Making that argument, despite your personal belief that sees a connection where reason does not follow diminishes my trust in you, as a craftsperson of intelligent, plausible, rational, realistic characters and prose. (Seriously, bacon might as well be cannibalism, and it's destroying our planet. Stop eating bacon. You're evil and wrong. You! Yes, you! Put down that bacon!)

Personally, I'm not a big fan of bacon. I think the world - and America - would be a happier, healthier, more morally righteous place if there was no bacon. The environment would be improved by the end of bacon. The cost of healthcare would shrink. The deficit would shrivel. World peace would result, as all nations and religions unite. The end of bacon is the path to nirvana.

But, the act of eating bacon (which I believe is wrong and evil and bad) does not mean that the people who eat bacon are baby-eaters just waiting for their chance to chomp down on the fetuses of forced abortion clinics.

How do you deal with an author who can't grasp that nuance? Do you trust their fiction?

(You're craving bacon right now, aren't you. It's evil. It's wrong.)

I may pick up a book or two by someone who has lost my trust as an intellectual. Maybe. But, if I smell anything that could be judged as stupid in the right light, I tend to suspect it might be stupid.

There better not be any bacon in there, though. Bacon is evil and wrong.

Hugo Awards and the Campbell

Huge congrats to Ann VanderMeer and David Anthony Durham, and all the other winners!

It pleases me to see the people on the ballot that I think should win, win. I didn't even vote!

I would have voted for "The Graveyard Book", as well, and it pleases me to see it victorious. I would have voted for "Exhalation", as well, and - again - it pleases me to see it victorious. I'm not up on the novellas and novelettes, but I have no doubt in the powers of Nancy Kress or Elizabeth Bear, and I'm certainly going to be looking for these stories later.

In the other categories, I would buy Donato Giancola paintings if I could afford them. Seeing them in person is really memorable and exhilarating. I know Cheryl K. Morgan has been a huge cheerleader of my little book, and I'm very glad someone gave her an award. I wish I could give her one. Now, I don't have to. She won the Hugo! I could go on, but I don't need to gush.

The big surprise, to me, was Ann's much-deserved victory in the Locus-dominated category. Weird Tales Magazine is basically awesome. I could give you reasons, but I don't think I need to. Isn't a Hugo a better reason than any I could offer you? If you ever wondered if you should subscribe or not, here's the most prestigious award in SF/F suggesting that maybe you should.

Everything is off my desk!

Hooray! My desk is clear for at least another two weeks!

Time to catch up on my reading. First up will be either Red Gold Bridge by Patrice Sarath, or Diana Rowland's Mark of the Demon.

Then, I think I will read me some non-fiction from Jane Jacobs, The Death and Life of Great American Cities.

And, I think I'm going to write a short story, but I don't know what it will about, or anything else about it except for this. There's a bodyguard with a human's body, and a tiger's head. He has a scimitar. Possibly, this scimitar is sharpened with nanotechnology. Possibly, the scimitar is poisoned with the blood of the cockatrice. Either way, I need to get to know this strange entity, and I'll get back to you with more when I can.

Clearing things off my desk...

I's all about clearing things off my desk right now.

For instance, his glass of whiskey has got to go!

Comes out August 14th, I hear.

Apparently, I'm following in Carol Berg's footsteps...

So, I went to the same high school as Carol Berg, a few years after she graduated (Nolan Catholic High School, in Fort Worth, TX).

Apparently, I'm in the same graduate program as she graduated from (University of Southern Maine's Low Residency MFA).

I hope I also follow in the footsteps of her many publications and successes.

Honestly, I feel kinda weird about it. At least we went to different undergrad programs, and live in different parts of the world.

Also, elementary school? Probably different.

One legal, and one illegal photo from the Woodruff Center in Atlanta.

They have some *fabulous* Duerer prints from the Louvre, but I didn't make the attempt at sneaking a photo in the crowded room, with security looking on.