Even Further Excerpts from an Architecture Textbook

4.4 Food Services
the health inspector likes to keep everything under his lens.

be sure to place lots of cameras.
and those mirrors that bend
around corners so the health inspector
can stand in line and watch the precise way the trash compactor
smokes and the busboy smokes and the chef smokes.

ashtrays are useful, too.
make room for them next to the fryers
where no one will notice the smoke.

a happy kitchen staff is a calm kitchen staff.
a calm kitchen staff is more likely to make lewd remarks.
lewd remarks lead to lewd actions.

mistakes.

a happy health inspector makes for an anxious staff.
an anxious staff looks – constantly –
at the ash tray that they cannot use
but need with every atom in their fingers and then

they are on edge.
they will yell and scream at everyone.

and the food will be fantastic.