Cities and suburbs, real and imaginary.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Interview with a puppy

Hello, and today I will be interviewing my Mom and Dad's latest addition to the family, Ruthie the English Springer Spaniel. She is weeks old. She does not speak English. Let's see what happens.

1) So, Ruthie, can you tell us a little bit about what you like best about being a puppy?

(Ruthie seems to ignore my question entirely. She's chewing on the plastic ends of the cords to the venetian blinds. she's opening the blinds... I'll be right back.)

2) So, Ruthie, how do you feel about your development in the area of potty training?

(Ruthie now has fixated her attention to the handle to the filing cabinet. Apparently, she likes to chew on the cool metal. Hm. That can't be good for you, honey... I'll be right back.)

3) Everyone talks about the way dogs have super senses of smell. What are some of your favorite smells?

(Ruthie again ignores the question. She is chewing on the leg of my pants and pulling. And pulling. Hey, something's tearing... I'll be right back.)

4) Ruthie, honey, who do you like better, your Mom or your Dad (or your dog-sitter)?

(Ruthie is chewing on my fingers while I type. It's very hard to type. And, it's starting to hurt. Give me a moment to do something with her...)

5) Ruthie, why are you peeing on the floor? Didn't I just take you out a minute ago?

(Ruthie bounds towards me, making a mess of her own spreading puddle of dogginess. Excuse me, for I must clean the floor, and hose down the filthy, filthy little puppy.)

Pictures will be posted as soon as I'm done cleaning. *looks around the floor, sniffing the air*. This may take a while.**

(author's note: this is exactly what occurred whilst asking questions. Seriously. Not one word or event was invented for the sake of drama.)

**Edit - Update to add

She sleeps:

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