Cities and suburbs, real and imaginary.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Alternative Lifestyle

Look, I figured out what those words really mean. You see, the alternative lifestyle - i.e. the one that is not mainstream, is not traditional, and has a very, very limited basis in history, but not reality - is the one wherein two chaste virgins marry and never even neck until after the ceremony, is the one that must be the alternative that I keep hearing about.

Really, you're talking about gentrified, pre-arranged couples, in the upper class, among a very small part of the human population, during a limited time in the history of those nations. Frankly, even there, the only "chaste" one was the female, and it was still very, very normal for engaged couples to do what came naturally.

All in all, it's the only definition of "Alternative Lifestyle" that makes any sense whatsoever.

(In case you don't know why I bring it up, look back a few days. I encountered a magazine that surprised me with its guidelines. I'm still trying to reconcile the person I know with the guidelines... But, I won't tell you which one, and I'll delete any comment that names it specifically. We are not here to bash magazines. We are here to wonder, amazed at an aspect of the market that seems representative of a prejudice in our larger culture. It is her magazine, after all, and her guidelines can demand stories about one-legged monkeys on spaceships, if she so chooses.)

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