Cities and suburbs, real and imaginary.

Monday, October 30, 2023

How much damage screaming does

 I was sitting in an office with a child psychologist and my ex-wife, and she started verbally digging in and taking a tone and elevating her voice and the child psychologist was indifferent to all that she was doing to cause harm, her aggressive body language, and the rage all over her face. He thought it was fine and she seemed so nice. I was having a panic attack in front of him and he wanted me to be assuming the man is obviously the asshole, here, and it led me down a rabbit hole where i figured out why all our former friends have no fucking clue what happened to us, and why i can just say "excuse me, that's enough," and everyone gasps because the man is so mean.

Women can yell, berate, and hit a man anytime they want, and people take her side.

Do better out there. Violence is violence. No one deserves to be yelled at or talked down to or pushed or shoved or kicked or hit. 

The statistics tell a story that women are primarily the victims of domestic violence, but we don't actually know how many men are being abused and don't even notice it happening, because culturally, men don't even realize that they are being abused most of the time until it goes way too far.

Friday, June 16, 2023

A bluegrass band except all the lyrics are written by ai

 I walked into the cafe, feeling kinda blue,

Ordered my usual coffee, but something went askew. The barista, oh, the barista, got my order all wrong, And to top it off, their attitude was oh so strong.

(Chorus) Barista blues, they gave me quite a show, Got my coffee order wrong, treated me so low. I just wanted a pick-me-up, a sip of something fine, But the barista's rudeness left a bitter taste in my mind.

(Verse 2) I said, "Hey, I asked for almond milk, not cow, And can I have a little sugar? I'll take it sweet somehow." But the barista rolled their eyes, said, "Can't you see the line? I'll make it how I want it, ain't got no time to whine."

(Chorus) Barista blues, they gave me quite a show, Got my coffee order wrong, treated me so low. I just wanted a pick-me-up, a sip of something fine, But the barista's rudeness left a bitter taste in my mind.

(Bridge) I'm just a weary customer, seeking a little kindness, But the barista's attitude, oh, it's filled with blindness. Coffee should bring joy, a moment to unwind, But their rudeness made me wish I could just press rewind.

(Verse 3) I took my mismatched coffee, walked out with a sigh, Determined to find a spot where the service won't make me cry. But I won't let this experience ruin my coffee affair, I'll find a barista who treats me with love and care.

(Chorus) Barista blues, they gave me quite a show, Got my coffee order wrong, treated me so low. I just wanted a pick-me-up, a sip of something fine, But the barista's rudeness left a bitter taste in my mind.

(Outro) So here's to finding cafes where kindness is their art, Where baristas greet you with a smile and warmth from the heart. No more barista blues, I'll seek a better brew, In a place where respect and good vibes shine through.

What’s coming for all college profs…

 When analyzing the data character from "Star Trek" in relation to the philosopher Baruch Spinoza, several parallels and connections can be drawn. Spinoza was a Dutch philosopher of the 17th century who is known for his rationalist and pantheistic views on nature, God, and human existence. Let's explore how Data's nature and experiences align with Spinoza's philosophy.

1. Rationalism and Knowledge:

Spinoza believed in the power of reason and the importance of knowledge in understanding the world and ourselves. Similarly, Data, an android in "Star Trek," embodies the pursuit of knowledge and understanding. He constantly seeks to enhance his knowledge and intellectual capabilities, demonstrating a deep appreciation for reason and logic. Data's primary goal is to learn and understand the universe, paralleling Spinoza's emphasis on rational inquiry.

2. Determinism and Causality:

Spinoza's philosophy asserts a deterministic worldview, suggesting that everything in the universe follows a chain of cause and effect. Data, as an android, operates within the bounds of determinism. His actions and decisions are based on logical reasoning and a thorough analysis of available data. Data's experiences and interactions are often influenced by cause-and-effect relationships, highlighting the deterministic nature of his existence.

3. Pantheism and Unity:

Spinoza's pantheistic view posits that God and nature are essentially one and the same, rejecting a distinct personal God. This concept resonates with Data's connection to the larger systems of the "Star Trek" universe. As an artificial being, Data is interconnected with various technologies, the ship's systems, and the broader network of Starfleet. This interconnectedness reflects the notion of unity and the interdependence of all elements within Spinoza's philosophy.

4. Ethics and Human Nature:

Spinoza's ethical framework emphasizes the pursuit of joy, freedom from external influences, and the development of rationality. Data, although an android, demonstrates a keen interest in ethics and morality. He constantly strives to understand and emulate human behavior, exploring concepts of morality, empathy, and personal growth. Data's pursuit of ethical understanding aligns with Spinoza's emphasis on human nature and the role of reason in ethical decision-making.

While Data's existence and experiences in "Star Trek" present intriguing parallels to Spinoza's philosophy, it's important to note that Data's character was not explicitly created as an embodiment of Spinoza's ideas. However, the exploration of rationality, determinism, interconnectedness, and ethical contemplation within Data's narrative can be seen as resonating with key themes in Spinoza's philosophy.

Sunday, June 11, 2023

Poetry at the end of the world


At some point the birds that die 

Upon the ground beside the building 

Will mean the ones who live

And breed among glass canyons 

Will see what glass is

Maybe not the glass 

Precisely, but maybe the line 

Between the parquet floor 

And the manicured lawn

Until then, the stray cats

Live well in the shadows 

Where the birds strike

The invisible wall between us


The Endangered Crane Hunts Fish inside the Courtyard Pond

Oh Bird, who will not know the price of koi 

Who will not know the why of shallows 

Packed with so many colored swallows 

Gulping down the jeweled flesh in joy 

While the company refuels the stock

Oh Bird, there is a law that says you live

You do not know how untouchable, survive

Upon the architects vision, sky unlocked

Where gates are always closed, endangered now 

With so few marshes left for hunting

Oh Bird, who stands upon a the bench below

The window of the king, cawing pooping

When the janitor flashes lights into you

Or claps and makes a sound, your graceful leaping

Thursday, June 1, 2023

tower of babbel

 watching people of different political stripes and economic stratospheres interact at work reminded me of the tower of babbel. we work together to bulid this edifice of a society, a space elevator, a lasting impact in the universe. we spread english around the world attempting to unify our culture and ideations so we can be part of this larger and larger culture edifice, science edifice, and economic edifice. and the very language we use has the same words but seems to code differently into different meanings across political and demographic and economic stripes such that communication can become almost impossible if there isn't a sense of mercy for each other to gloss over the miscommunications that arise. 

lose that mercy, lose that tower. it disintegrates.

Thursday, May 18, 2023

Evil smurfs

Carl sat at his desk, staring blankly at the computer screen. The fluorescent lights buzzed above, casting a harsh glow over the drab office space. He had long forgotten what it felt like to be excited about anything. The monotony of his nine-to-five existence had eroded his spirit, leaving behind a shell of a man.

As the minutes dragged on, a flicker of movement caught Carl's weary eyes. He blinked, convinced that his mind was playing tricks on him. But there it was again—a tiny orange figure darting across his peripheral vision. His heart skipped a beat as he turned his gaze toward the wall behind his desk.

To his astonishment, a colony of diminutive creatures, no taller than his thumb, resided within the wall. They were orange, with mischievous grins and pointed hats reminiscent of Smurfs, but something about them felt off—something sinister. Their eyes glowed with an eerie light, and their actions exuded a malevolent energy.

Carl rubbed his eyes, desperately hoping that the stress-induced hallucination would fade away. But the orange creatures persisted, multiplying in number with each passing day. They scurried through the crevices, whispering to one another in a language that only Carl could hear.

He watched as they plotted and schemed, their sinister plans hidden behind those mischievous grins. Their activities disrupted the office environment, causing minor mishaps that went unnoticed by his oblivious coworkers. But Carl knew the truth—they were agents of chaos, thriving on the negative energy that permeated the workplace.

Unable to contain his mounting curiosity, Carl decided to investigate further. One evening, long after his colleagues had left, he gingerly approached the wall. He pressed his ear against it, straining to decipher their hushed conversations.

Their voices were high-pitched and distorted, like nails scraping against glass. They spoke of discontent, of feeding on human misery, and the perverse pleasure they derived from their malevolent acts. Carl recoiled, his mind racing to comprehend the twisted reality that unfolded before him.

Days turned into weeks, and Carl's obsession with the orange smurfs deepened. He researched ancient folklore, consulted obscure texts, and delved into the darkest corners of the internet, desperate to understand their origins and purpose. Yet, no information provided a satisfactory explanation.

As his knowledge grew, so did his paranoia. Carl became convinced that he alone possessed the ability to see these evil creatures, an ability bestowed upon him for some unknown reason. The weight of this burden threatened to crush him, yet he couldn't turn away. He felt a strange responsibility—a need to protect his coworkers from the malicious presence lurking just beyond their awareness.

Driven by a newfound determination, Carl devised a plan. He began leaving small offerings on his desk each night—a bowl of sugar, a handful of candies. It was a feeble attempt to appease the orange smurfs, to redirect their malevolence away from his coworkers and onto himself.

But as the days wore on, Carl realized that his plan had backfired. The smurfs grew more demanding, their antics escalating into outright sabotage. They tampered with his work, erasing files, and sabotaging projects. His reputation suffered.

In a final act of desperation, Carl concocted a mixture of powerful cleansers, determined to flush the smurfs from their hidden lair. Armed with a spray bottle, he doused the wall, his hands trembling as the toxic liquid dripped down its surface. He expected their screams of agony, but felt, with rising dread, the silence in the walls as if they were never truly there.

Saturday, April 15, 2023


Thanks to Nissa McCormick of ElfElm LLC for the design on this one.

It'll populate to Amazon when it populates. Look for it there.

If I sell 10,000 copies, I'll write a sequel. That's a number where I could actually afford to do things without my day job, you see. It will take quite a bit more counseling and/or therapy and/or prayer before my brain is ready to write things again after what I've been through this last year, and things are getting better but not really at the velocity of better I would like.

I just hope my ex doesn't attempt to overdose my son on vitamins or start attacking us again, in the mean time. I mean, the crazy weird aggressive stuff continues, but at least keep your elbows to your damn self.

Coming soon to Amazon and elsewhere...

Goblins sneak. Goblins steal. Goblins stay hidden from the land of giants and grimalkin and trolls and elves. They live in old juniper trees hiding their villages and royal buildings in the deep forest. 

Rambol goblin is determined to be the greatest sneak thief of all goblin-kind, not a tree-sniffer like his parents. He wants his statue forever on display in the Goblin Hall of Greatness and Their Great Goings On, and that means he must do an exceptional act of thievery, like taking the tooth of a living troll. The path is perilous, and the danger vast. But, he does not go alone into the grimalkin kingdoms, where giants live among the roads and buildings. 

I wrote this one as shit started to get really dark in my life, and I discovered things I can't really talk about, and I'm not interested in going through a full publication process on it where I have to go back and go back and go back to that place in my head. I'm just pushing it up to Amazon as soon as I get time at a real computer. If it sells 10,000 copies I'll write a sequel.

If you want an early look in exchange for an honest Amazon/Goodreads/Whatever review hit me up now.