Cities and suburbs, real and imaginary.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Supreme Court Creates Zombie Apocalypse

I didn't think the Supreme Court was in favor of the zombie apocalypse until I read the news about their latest ruling.

Corporations aren't people, and cannot be referred to as "WHOM" in the same grouping as natural humans... Until now. Treating them as such is a confusion of a legal metaphor, and dangerous to society. Until corporations can also vote, hold office, serve on juries, and have a conscience this idea of Will's is a systemic problem where the very ideals he upholds are being assaulted by the very thing he now support. We both want the same thing - free speech - but the law existed to protect free human speech from the terrible flood of zombie speech.

As it stands, corporations, like people, have a will to "life". The way they stay alive is to profit. It isn't by eating food, pooping, being a good neighbor, and taking care of human health. Nope. Profit alone maintains the "life" of a corporation. More profit=more life. Political speech is very profitable at a large scale. Very, very profitable. the bang for your buck on political ads and flyers is amazing. If I could harness it for book promotion, I would do it right now, this second. Zombie speech is not "speech" as in constitutional free speech, but a business that vampirically skims their lifeblood - money - off the systems humans create to maintain ordered societies. Free speech for natural humans should be the goal of the constitutional law, and that ideal was squashed.

The zombies just got the power to go out and eat your brain - to flood it with disinformation in equal scale to the zombie's life blood: money.

I'm not anti-corporation, and I'm not anti-zombie. I just think that when you know you have a friend who is an alcoholic, locking that friend overnight in a liquor store is a bad idea for the store owners, and for the alcoholic. Giving zombie life the keys to their own, personal, proverbial liquor store - the ability to influence laws to generate profit - is an invitation to a disaster.

It's only a matter of time, now. The zombie apocalypse is upon us. Incorporate or be their gristle!

I have to say, I would not have pegged the Supreme Court for being the harbingers of the zombie apocalypse, but these sorts of things always come about unexpectedly.


Patrice Sarath said...

No one expects the Zombie Inquisition.

J m mcdermott said...