Cities and suburbs, real and imaginary.

Friday, June 27, 2008

wear an eyepatch

The next time you have a job interview, wear an eyepatch.

That way, the interviewer will feel a little uncomfortable about looking you in the eye, and they'll be put-off by how much they want to ask about the eyepatch. This will put the interviewer on the defensive.

Also, nothing says go-getter like a pirate. Pirates will do all kinds of crazy stuff for their crew and captain. In fact, if you can find a three-corner hat and a parrot, bring those, too!

If I was interviewing someone for a job, and they looked like a pirate, I would immediately hire them on the spot. Because pirates look cool.

Think about it. Wouldn't you be more likely to vote for Barack Obama or John McCain if one of them constantly looked like a pirate?

Hillary Clinton would have looked awesome and deadly in a three-corner hat. That's really what her campaign was missing.

People care more about your cutlass wit when you also have a steel cutlass on your hip.

Arrgh '08!(Someone with more graphical ability than me really ought to send me a picture of our presidential candidates dressed up as pirates...)


Sparrowhawk said...

I agree. Two other things I've thought of that would be advantages to hiring a pirate (or just knowing one, period):

If another company ever tried to board your company, well...I'm just saying its nice to have someone around who knows how to swashbuckle.

Also, if you're a good employer to them, they might share some of their booty and/or rum stash with you.

J m mcdermott said...

The obverse is also true:

Noting says corporate acquisitions and corporate takeover like frikkin' PIRATES!

Talk about walking into the board room negotiating from strength: cutlass and pistol.