Cities and suburbs, real and imaginary.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

what will they do when the president is gay?

what will the military do
when the president is gay?
will they give their mighty briefings
while the commander in chief crochets?

will the morale of the marines
diminish when they see
a president in pink jockey shorts
jogging effeminately?

i wonder what the marine corps band
will do to hail to the chief.
will they add a techno drumbeat?
will they play "hail to the thief"?

perhaps the armored cavalry
will feng shui the tanks.
will the chaplains pray,
"For God, and country, give spanks."

imagine our brave army rangers
like fashionistas when they say
that not just any soldier boy
gets to wear the pink berets.

the MP handcuffs will be furry
the whistling rockets will carry a tune
the drill sergeants will stress base decor
privates will be issued guns and zunes

when the president is gay
he will command the free world
and then our armies will all crumble
in weak gayness like puny little girls!

oh, the ruined might of the western world
will whisk their wrists at general pace
who like a beacon of moral goodness
foresaw this immorality of the human race.

that is the fabulous future of war and machisno
when the president is an open, flaming homo.

a poem in honor of the commander of the joint chiefs of staff, general pace, who would probably not get to keep his job when the gay president finally gets here.(

does anyone know any openly gay public servants who'd do a fine job as president?

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