Cities and suburbs, real and imaginary.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

ब्रिटिश पीपुल हटे मी.

For some reason, my title to this post has slipped into garbled, otherworldy letterings.

Well now. That's, uh, new(?).

I just want to ask if you know somebody British. If you do, can you ask them why the British people hate me? My amazon salesrank in England is almost nonexistant. I take this to mean that British people hate me.

What did I ever do to England to merit this? Did I accidentally say something bad about the Queen? Did I giggle when someone mentioned the infamous - very nasty -dessert dish known as "Spotted Dick"?

Was it the time I encountered a bunch of Irish Hooligans in the streets of Munich and learned to sing and dance to cheer for Northern Ireland (a.k.a. make friends with the drunk, rowdy hooligans until you can give them the slip...)? Was I supposed to cheer for Manchester? How did you find out about that? British tabloids, you say, managed to catch me in the act - me, a humble writer? Wow, those tabloids of yours are amazingly thorough.

(Found the song I sang after midnight in Munich on YouTube:

this song may seem lame in this form. After midnight in an abandoned Munich street with about three dozen screaming, hyperactive, drunken hooligans makes this song }the craziest most interesting song ever{! This song was a build-up to a mosh pit. Then, some of the fans decided to get naked in the wintry streets for Northern Island when me and the other bystanders I was with managed to slip away in the dark.

edit^2 to add: This YouTube Video is 13 seconds long, and shows the beginning of the spontaneouts street moshing of Northern Ireland fans and kind of what it is like when you, a humble tourist, discover you've fallen into a nest of drunken hooligans.


What is it about the UK that makes them hate me?

If you know a British person, can you ask them for me. I haven't been near a Brit in ages.

(This post brought to you because my Amazon UK salesrank is over one million...)


Anonymous said...


i am British and I like you!!

J m mcdermott said...

Anonymouse British people posting on my blog?

It must be J K Rowling. She'd never be able to post anything publicly, you know, for fear of the legion descending upon her.

Yup, J K Rowling.

Must be. Nothing else would make any sense.

J m mcdermott said...

Oh, and thanks for the love, I think.

Do please at least sign your comments, though?

'Tis only polite. I like to know who I'm talking to, in case you start to comment regular like.