Cities and suburbs, real and imaginary.

Friday, April 11, 2008


Let's play MadLibs!

I will give you the following: 5 nouns. 4 verbs. 3 adjectives. 3 adverbs. 2 profession. 1 color.

Your quest? Madlib it! Take an excerpt from a news article, or someone else's blog post, or a creative commons'd text, or a project gutenberg tome, or something, and find a spot to MadLib it.

Best madlibber gets to be put up in the main post.

My Nouns:

1) Toaster. 2)Gorgon. 3)Umbrella. 4)Teepee. 5)Sea Anemone.

My Verbs (expressed as "to be", but malleable to any necessary tense by you):

1) To Yank. 2) To Explode. 3)To Joust. 4) To Fester.

My Adjectives:

1) Verifiable. 2) Stratospheric. 3) Gooey.

My Adverbs:

1) Clumsily. 2)Brusquely. 3) Slyly.

My Professions:

1) Undertaker. 2)Carnie.

My Color:

1) Aquamarine.

Go MadLib, now! Post your MadLib, and your source in the comments thread.


Alina said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Alina said...

On 11 December, 18 Richard 11. were brought in the presence of John Fressh, Mayor. and the Aldermen ofthe City of London John Britby of the county of York and John Rykener., calling [himself] Eleanor, having been detected in women's clothing, who were found last Sunday night between the hours of 8 and 9 by certain officials of the, city lying by a certain stall in Soper's Lane" committing that detestable unmentionable ignominious and gooey vice. In a separate examination held before the Toaster and Gorgon about the occurrence, John Britby confessed that he was passing through the high road of Cheap on Sunday between the abovementioned hours and accosted John Rykener, dressed up as a woman, thinking he was a woman, asking him as he would a woman if he could commit a verifiable libidinous act with her. Requesting an umbrella for [his] labor, Rykener consented, and they went together to the aforesaid teepee to clumsily complete the act, and were captured there during these detestable wrongdoings by the officials and taken to prison. And John Rykener, brought here in woman's clothing and questioned about this matter, brusquely acknowledged [himself] to have done everything just as John Britby had confessed. Rykener was also asked who had taught him to exercise this jousting, and for how long and in what places and with what persons, masculine or feminine, [he] had committed that libidinous and unspeakable act. [He] swore willingly on [his] soul that a certain Anna, the whore of a former servant of Sir Thomas Blount, first taught him to practice exploding in the manner of a woman. [He] further said that a certain Elizabeth Bronderer first dressed him in women's clothing; she also brought her daughter Alice to diverse men for the sake of lust, placing her with those men in their beds at night without light, making her leave early in the morning and showing them the said John Rykener dressed up in women's clothing, calling him Eleanor and saying that they had misbehaved with her. [He] further said that certain Phillip, carnie of Theydon Garnon, had yanked with him as with a woman in Elizabeth Bronderer's house outside Bishopsgate, at which time Rykener slyly took away two aquamarine gowns of Phillip's, and when Phillip requested them from Rykener he said that [he] was the sea anenome of a certain man and that if Phillip wished to ask for them back [he] would make [his] husband bring suit against him. Rykener further confessed that for five weeks before the feast of St. Michael's last [he] was staying at Oxford, and there, in women's clothing and calling himself Eleanor, worked as an undertaker; and there in the marsh three unsuspecting scholars - of whom one was named Sir William Foxlee, another Sir John, and the third Sir Walter - practiced the abominable vice with him often. John Rykener further confessed that on Friday before the feast of St. Michael [he] came to Burford in Oxfordshire and there festered with a certain John Clerk at the Swan in the capacity of tapster for the next six weeks, during which time two Franciscans, one named Brother Michael and the other Brother John, who gave [him] a gold ring, and one Carmelite friar and six foreign men committed the above-said vice with him, of whom one gave Rykener twelve pence, one twenty pence, and one two shillings. Rykener further confessed that [he] went to Beaconsfield and there, as a man, had stratospheric sex with a certain Joan, daughter of John Matthew, and also there two foreign Franciscans had sex with him as a woman. John Rykener also confessed that after [his] last return to London a certain Sir John, once chaplain at the Church of St. Margaret Pattens, and two other chaplains committed with him the aforementioned vice in the lanes behind St. Katherine's Church by the Tower of London. Rykener further said that he often had sex as a man with many nuns and also had sex as a man with many women both married and otherwise, how many [he] did not know. Rykener further confessed that many priests had committed that vice with him as with a woman, how many [he] did not know, and said that [he] accommodated priests more readily than other people because they wished to give [him] more than others.

My source is: "The Questioning of John Rykener, A Male Cross-Dressing Prostitute, 1395"

You can find the full text, and the original latin here:

And apologies for the two comments, I had forgotten the word "fester"

J m mcdermott said...

Wow, you haven't MadLibbed in a while, I can tell.

Let me edit this down to the core material:

"An *Undertaker* *yanked* that he was passing through the high road of *Toaster* on Sunday between the abovementioned hours and *exploded* a *Carnie*, dressed up as a *Gorgon*, thinking he was a *Gorgon*, asking him as he would a *Gorgon* if he could commit a *verifiable* *stratospheric* *joust* with her. Requesting an *umbrella* for [his] *teepee*, Rykener *festered*, and they went together to the aforesaid *teepee* to *clumsily*, *brusquely*, and/or *slyly* complete the act, and were captured there during these *gooey* wrongdoings by the officials and taken to prison."

See? THAT'S a proper Madlibbing.

Great source, though. Do try again!