Cities and suburbs, real and imaginary.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

pirate elvis lives

Graceland was never going to be the same after the death of the King.

Of course, little did they know the King was not, in fact, dead. That was just one of the King's clones that broke while the king himself was out on a mission.

That mission? Capturing every shipment of Chinese sneakers before they reach the ports. America must be protected from foreign sweatshop products, after all, and who better to conquer the hordes of un-American influence than the King of all Americana himself, Elvis Presley.

His Letter of Marquis was signed by LBJ. His ship was decked out in all the latest pirate technologies. The plank had a piano keyboard on it, to let the condemned dance a tune for their salvation. The galley had more friers than McDonald's University. The crew were all musicians and actors, singing and dancing their way to justice. The carpets were plush. The bridge was a jungle room. Even in the prisoner's cages, there was a high tech recording studio for anyone that finally caved in to their interrogations and decided to sing.

Yes, my friends, Pirate Elvis lives!

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